How To Avoid The Trap Of Toxic Positivity

In a world that encourages us to “just be positive,” toxic positivity—the idea that only positive emotions are acceptable and negativity must be avoided—can become a trap. It’s easy to feel pressure to constantly think positively, especially with the rise of positive affirmations and positive psychology. Here, I’ll guide you through why positive affirmations may fail despite best efforts and how toxic positivity can obstruct your growth.

Positive affirmations are statements of intention to align our mindset with our desires. But if these affirmations don’t resonate, they might deepen doubts and fears. In this article, I’ll explain the common pitfalls of positive affirmations and how toxic positivity plays a role. Also, I’ll present a more balanced, empowering approach to manifesting the life you want.

Understanding Toxic Positivity and Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements designed to help us focus on our desires, typically framed in the present tense. The principles behind affirmations include:

Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. For example, rather than saying “I don’t want pain,” a positive affirmation would be, “I am living fully, embracing each day with vitality.”

Use “I am” or “I have” statements, which place desires in the present moment.

Create a mental picture of the outcome, accompanied by a feeling of gratitude, as though it’s already real.

These steps are grounded in cognitive-behavioral psychology and principles of visualization. Positive affirmations are often used in personal development, positive psychology, and spiritual practices to rewire the mind toward success. However, despite following these steps, affirmations can fail, and toxic positivity can worsen the problem.

Toxic Positivity and the Downside of Forced Positivity

Toxic positivity promotes the idea that only positive emotions are valid and that any negativity is a sign of failure. This mindset can encourage people to ignore or suppress difficult feelings, which can cause problems to go unaddressed. When applied to affirmations, toxic positivity creates an environment where people must constantly project positivity, regardless of their true feelings.

For instance, it is common for someone experiencing financial hardship to affirm, “I am abundantly wealthy.” However, this forced positivity can exacerbate their frustration and self-doubt without addressing their underlying worries or beliefs about money. The key issue? They haven’t dealt with the fears or limiting beliefs that create resistance against their affirmations. When ignored, these deep-seated beliefs can make affirmations feel empty, leading to doubt and disappointment.

Two Reasons Positive Affirmations Fail: The Role of Subconscious Beliefs

1. Impatience and Doubt

Affirmations take time to manifest, but toxic positivity pressures us to expect instant results. If we don’t see immediate change, doubt can set in. This doubt then shifts the energy of our thoughts away from gratitude and abundance, making us feel disconnected from our desires.

2. Contradictory Subconscious Beliefs

Often, people hold deep-rooted beliefs that conflict with their affirmations. These subconscious beliefs, such as “Money is the root of all evil” or “Relationships lead to disappointment,” create a barrier that affirmations alone can’t overcome. If someone tries to affirm, “I am attracting the perfect partner,” while holding onto the belief that “all partners cheat,” their affirmation won’t be effective. Here, toxic positivity pressures people to focus solely on positive statements without addressing these underlying fears, leading to more resistance rather than transformation.

Toxic Positivity in Manifestation: Identifying, Releasing, and Reframing Beliefs

To break the cycle of toxic positivity and make affirmations truly effective, you must work through the fears and beliefs that sabotage success. Here’s a three-step method to start unraveling these beliefs:

1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

Reflect on any resistance you feel toward your affirmations. Ask yourself: “What beliefs or fears make me uncomfortable when I say this affirmation?” Writing down these thoughts can help you identify underlying blocks.

2. Release Fear by Acknowledging It

Instead of bypassing fears with positivity, allow yourself to feel them. Toxic positivity discourages this crucial step, but embracing your fears and negative emotions gives you the chance to release them.

3. Reframe Beliefs Aligned with Your Authentic Desires

After recognizing and acknowledging your limiting beliefs, you can start reframing them. Instead of affirming, “I am wealthy,” consider exploring affirmations that ease the transition, such as “I am open to financial abundance and feel secure in my worth.”

Transforming Your Manifestation Process

Manifestation requires more than affirming positive outcomes; it involves aligning with your true self and addressing the obstacles that keep you from realizing your desires. Toxic positivity limits this process by denying the importance of working with negative emotions.

To genuinely manifest, it’s essential to reframe the entire approach:

Accept your emotional truth: Embrace all your emotions, not just the positive ones.

– Release the pressure of immediate results: Trust the process without expecting instant transformation.

– Work with affirmations that resonate deeply: Instead of “I am perfectly healthy,” a more authentic affirmation might be “I am committed to my health journey and accept myself every step of the way.”

Embracing Balance: Making Positive Affirmations Work for You

To use affirmations effectively, remember that they must be more than just statements of intention—they should resonate with your deepest beliefs and goals. Here’s a recap of how to make affirmations work for you without falling into the trap of toxic positivity:

– Take Time to Reflect on Your True Feelings and Beliefs: Be honest with yourself about your fears, doubts, and insecurities.

– Address Your Limiting Beliefs First: Create affirmations that don’t conflict with any subconscious fears.

– Embrace a Balanced Mindset: Allow both positive and negative emotions to coexist. Emotional balance will make affirmations feel more authentic and attainable.

Perhaps you are curious how I can make this statement when positive affirmations and Positive Psychology are popular practices with evidence to back their use.  Give me a few minutes of your time and I will explain.

Toxic positivity may cause us to believe that we need to stay upbeat at all costs. But real growth comes from embracing our authentic selves— the light and the shadow. Positive affirmations can be powerful, but only when they’re backed by a deep understanding of the beliefs that shape our reality. Rather than relying on forced positivity, embrace a balanced approach where your strengths and fears are seen, acknowledged, and transformed.

Conclusion: Moving Beyond Toxic Positivity to Find True Success

Through tools like the Authentic Success Blueprint, you can learn how to identify your unique limiting beliefs and create affirmations that resonate on a deep level. By doing so, you’ll step away from toxic positivity and toward genuine, lasting success. Embrace your journey, fears and all, and watch your affirmations come to life in a way that feels authentic, balanced, and deeply fulfilling.

In the Authentic Success Blueprint, I provide you with:

– A customized report that outlines your top limiting beliefs and the fears that drive them. This report goes beyond affirmations to help you understand your obstacles.

– Insight into your unique vagal response to fear and stress. Understanding your stress reaction can help you manage emotions in a healthier, more balanced way.

A five-step Goal Alignment Strategy that focuses on identifying, releasing, and reframing limiting beliefs, empowering you to create affirmations rooted in authenticity rather than toxic positivity.

And more!

The coaching guide Fear Unravelled and the Guided Body Scan Visualization are two ways I share to help you dive deeper into your fears and ensure that your positive affirmations are aligned for optimal healing.


Leanne Giavedoni is a Transformation Coach and Spiritual Mentor. Leanne uses her intuitive strengths to help others navigate blocks and align with their authentic self. Her strengths include:

  • balancing logic and emotion,
  • seeing and recognizing synchronicity and universal guidance,
  • interpreting esoteric information into everyday language.

Leanne wants people to see the importance of the “spiritual” side of life, and to trust the universe with a sure heart.