When I think about the accomplishments in my life, there’s one that stands out above all others: my relationship with my high school sweetheart. For 37 years, we’ve been partners in this crazy, beautiful dance called life. It’s not always graceful, and we’ve stepped on each other’s toes a few times—but we’re still dancing. And honestly? It’s my proudest achievement.
It’s not because we have the “perfect” marriage. Perfection isn’t the goal, and anyone who says otherwise might not be telling the whole truth. What we have is something real, something built on a foundation of communication, acceptance, and a whole lot of gratitude. That’s what makes it work. That’s what keeps it alive. And that’s what I want for others—a chance to experience not just love, but connection.
Let me share a little about what I’ve learned along the way.
The Magic of Connection
Love is wild. It doesn’t always come wrapped in pretty bows, arriving at a “perfect” moment. Sometimes it bursts into your life when you’re least prepared—raw, unpolished, and wonderfully inconvenient.
For my husband and I, love didn’t wait for us to be fully ready. We were just teenagers when we found each other, navigating the chaos of young adulthood. Looking back, I can see how we weren’t just two kids falling in love; we were two souls colliding at the right time, even if we didn’t know it then.
Healthy relationships aren’t built in easy times. They’re shaped in the trenches—those messy, unpredictable moments where life throws curveballs, and you have to decide: Do we face this together, or do we drift apart?
The answer isn’t always obvious, and it’s not always easy. But when you choose to lean into each other, something extraordinary happens.
The Little Things Matter
Here’s the thing about relationships: It’s not usually the big, dramatic moments that define them. Sure, those moments are memorable, but the real story lies in the small, everyday interactions.
It’s in the way you listen—or don’t. It’s in the little jokes shared over dinner, the way you squeeze their hand when they’re nervous, or the effort you put into learning how they take their coffee.
But it’s also in the quieter wounds.
You see, the damage in a relationship doesn’t always come from grand betrayals or explosive fights. More often, it’s those tiny moments when you dismiss their feelings, roll your eyes at their frustration, or get too busy to notice they’re struggling.
Imagine this: You’re trying to share something that’s been bothering you—something small, but it matters. You want them to hear you, to say, “I see you. I get it.” But instead, they brush it off. Maybe they don’t mean to hurt you, but they’re preoccupied, or they tell you you’re overthinking it.
You try again another time, but the response is the same. Slowly, you stop sharing. Not because you don’t care, but because it feels safer to hold it in. Those little moments add up. They don’t seem like much on their own, but over time, they erode the trust and connection you’ve built.
But here’s the good news: Just as those small moments can chip away at a relationship, they can also strengthen it. When you choose to listen, to validate, to say, “I hear you, and you matter,” you’re rebuilding the connection brick by brick.
The Beauty of Being Seen, Heard, and Accepted
In any relationship, one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is the feeling of being truly seen, heard, and accepted.
It’s easy to take the people closest to us for granted. After all, they’re the ones who are always there, right? But that’s exactly why they deserve the most effort.
My husband and I have learned this the hard way, like anyone who’s been together for decades. There have been times when we let life get in the way—when we were so busy surviving that we forgot to thrive together.
What brought us back, time and time again, was the decision to choose each other. Not just in the grand gestures, but in the small, everyday ways:
- Saying “thank you” for the little things, like taking out the trash or making coffee.
- Apologizing when we’re wrong, even if it’s hard.
- Making time to talk—not just about logistics and schedules, but about how we’re feeling, what we’re dreaming about, and what’s on our minds.
When both partners are fully themselves—messy, imperfect, and beautiful—you have the foundation for a healthy relationship.
Gratitude: The Glue That Holds It All Together
Let me share one secret to a healthy relationship: Always appreciate each other.
It’s easy to get caught up in the routines of life, especially when you’ve been together for a long time. But gratitude is what keeps the spark alive.
For us, it’s not about grand declarations or lavish gifts (though those are nice too!). It’s about noticing and acknowledging the little things.
“Thanks for making dinner tonight—it was delicious.”
“I love how you always make me laugh, even when I’m having a rough day.”
“Hey, I know you’ve been working hard lately. I see you, and I appreciate you.”
Gratitude isn’t just about saying thank you; it’s about recognizing the effort, love, and care your partner brings to the relationship. It’s about reminding them—and yourself—why you chose each other in the first place.
Navigating the Storms Together
No relationship is without its challenges. Over the years, we’ve faced our share of storms—stress, disagreements, moments of doubt. But what has carried us through is the understanding that we’re on the same team.
When you’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to see your partner as the “enemy.” But the truth is, the problem is the enemy—not each other.
When we approach challenges with curiosity instead of blame, everything changes. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?” we ask, “What’s going on here? How can we face this together?”
Discovering how differently we respond to stress, and the individual limiting beliefs we both carry that shape how we perceive our experiences has been life-changing. This understanding transforms the way we respond to one another during the hardest moments.
It’s not always easy, and it takes practice. But it’s worth it.
Why This Matters
So, why share this?
Because I believe in the power of connection. I believe that everyone deserves to feel loved, seen, and valued in their relationships. And I know, from experience, that this kind of love isn’t reserved for the lucky few—it’s available to anyone willing to put in the effort.
Through my work with couples, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative it can be when two people commit to understanding each other on a deeper level. When they learn to communicate, to listen, and to appreciate each other, something incredible happens: They don’t just survive—they thrive.
Love isn’t perfect. It’s messy, challenging, and sometimes downright frustrating. But it’s also the most rewarding thing you’ll ever experience. And it’s worth fighting for.
Your Turn
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I want that kind of connection,” know it’s possible. Whether you’re in a relationship now or hoping to find one in the future, the principles of healthy relationships remain the same:
- Communicate openly and honestly.
- Appreciate the little things.
- Create space for each other to be fully themselves.
- Face challenges as a team.
- Never stop choosing each other.
Because at the end of the day, love isn’t about finding the perfect person. It’s about building a partnership where both of you feel seen, heard, and valued.
So here’s my invitation to you: Take a moment today to connect with your partner. Tell them what you appreciate about them. Ask how they’re feeling. Listen.
Because the magic of love lies not in the grand gestures, but in the quiet, everyday moments of connection.
And if you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay. The journey of building a healthy relationship is ongoing, and every step you take brings you closer to the connection you deserve.
Here’s to love, in all its messy, beautiful glory.
Leanne Giavedoni is a Spiritual Life Coach who helps individuals and couples navigate the challenges in life by aligning with their authentic nature. She shows couples how to create a successful relationship guided by and aligned with each person’s true self-using her Success Reset System. If you want improved connection and communication in your relationship you need your Couples Connection Report.
Get daily inspiration in my Facebook Community