I’m not usually one for labels, but I’m stepping up to name a syndrome that has plagued our society for centuries. It’s time we bring it into the light.
This syndrome is the root cause of countless struggles—weight issues, addictions, burnout, anxiety, and depression, to name a few. The physical, emotional, and spiritual cost is immeasurable. It affects men and women of every race, age, and background, and what’s worse, we unknowingly pass it down to our children.
Enough is enough! Both literally and figuratively. I’m calling this affliction The Not Enough Syndrome (NES). It’s time we understand and deal with it.
What Is NES?
The Not Enough Syndrome (NES) is a mindset that tells us we’re always lacking—whether it’s time, money, success, or personal worth. It drives us to constantly strive for more, believing we’re never enough as we are. This belief manifests in damaging ways, impacting our relationships, careers, and mental health.
Signs and Symptoms of NES
If you recognize any of these, you may be suffering from NES:
- Overworking
- Obsessive preparation
- Lack of joy or fulfillment
- Workaholism
- Perfectionism
- Low self-esteem or self-worth
- Addictions
- People-pleasing
- Back pain, headaches, or other stress-related symptoms
It’s easy to think, “Doesn’t this describe everyone?” You’re right. NES is rampant. The more symptoms you identify with, the more severe your case might be.
Denial: The First Stage of NES
Many of us are in denial about having NES. Denial is a protective mechanism, often evolving into defensiveness. The foundation of our society, built on competition and scarcity, feeds the syndrome. We’re taught to believe “only the best win” or that we must always be striving to be our best.
The problem is, that these beliefs stem from the idea that we are not enough as we are. We compare ourselves to everyone around us, especially online, where the success and abundance of others amplify our sense of lack. Now, we’re not just competing with those in our community but with fifth-grade prodigies and viral internet stars.
The Online World: Fuel for NES
The digital age has only worsened the Not Enough Syndrome. Social media keeps us in constant comparison mode, and access to global information makes us feel like we’re falling behind. We are forever raising the bar for ourselves, based on what we see others achieving.
If you find yourself disagreeing or feeling uncomfortable with this idea, NES may have a firm hold on you. Trust me, I understand. As a recovering NES sufferer, I know it’s hard to face the uncomfortable truths about how we live. But this awareness is the first step toward healing.
Parents Beware: How NES Affects the Next Generation
One of the scariest aspects of NES is how easily it gets passed down to children. Many parents unintentionally program this mindset into their kids, thinking they’re doing what’s best.
“We’re just exposing them to as many things as possible,” or “They’ll need it on their resume,” are common excuses. Parents push their children to excel, not realizing they’re instilling the same beliefs about never being good enough.
This has led to an epidemic of anxiety, depression, and burnout in younger generations. The pressure to be better, faster, and smarter is overwhelming, and NES is the hidden driver.
When Will Enough Be Enough?
Look around and it’s clear: we live in a world that has more than enough—more money, more opportunities, more options. Yet we’re still overwhelmed with obesity, addictions, anxiety, and violence. When will we realize that we have enough?
If you’re deep in the syndrome, even the word “enough” might feel lacking. For many, it doesn’t resonate until they hear “more than enough.” But the truth is, enough by definition means “as much as required.” So why do we feel the need for more?
Breaking Free from Not Enough Syndrome
It’s hard to acknowledge the hold NES has on us. To heal from NES requires facing uncomfortable truths about how we live and what we believe. That’s scary for many, which is why it’s easier to stay in the cycle of stress, complaints, and dissatisfaction.
But here’s the good news: there’s a simple, effective way to overcome NES. Start living as though enough is enough. Begin by affirming to yourself: “I have enough. I am enough.” As you adopt this mindset, your life will begin to shift in ways you never imagined.
Read this article on LinkedIn for a quick way to reframe these feelings of inadequacy.
Conclusion: Start Living the Cure
Overcoming the Not Enough Syndrome doesn’t happen overnight, but the process is simple. It starts with a mindset shift. Stop chasing the illusion of more, and start embracing the truth that you are enough just as you are. When you do, life becomes richer, more joyful, and free from the burdens of NES.
It’s time to end the epidemic of The Not Enough Syndrome. Take that first step today by recognizing that you already have everything you need.
The topic of NES is covered in the coaching guide “Fear Unravelled: Transform Your Thinking and Manifest the Abundant Life You Deserve” with many examples and exercises to help you overcome this disruptive belief.