Healing is a journey that can often feel frustrating and elusive. We want results, but the path forward can be unclear, leaving many people stuck in cycles of pain, trauma, and self-doubt. Why does healing seem so difficult? In my work, helping others find alignment with their true selves, I’ve identified three key reasons why people don’t heal—and I’ve experienced these obstacles firsthand. In this article, I’ll explore three common obstacles to healing and how to overcome them. Whether you’re on a healing journey yourself or supporting others, this insight can offer guidance for lasting transformation
Common Obstacles to Healing #1: Getting Caught Up in the “Why”
One of the biggest and most common obstacles to healing is getting stuck on the question: Why is this happening? This question can come from confusion, frustration, or even self-blame. When we face difficulties—whether they’re emotional, physical, or spiritual—our minds naturally search for answers. Why did this happen to me? Why am I struggling when others seem to be thriving? These questions, while valid, can trap us in a cycle of overthinking without leading to real answers.
Unfortunately, there may not be one clear-cut reason why you’re going through what you’re experiencing. Life is complex, and sometimes the “why” has multiple layers that we may never fully unravel. By embracing the idea that I am a soul having a human experience, healing became more evident. My soul came with a unique life purpose, life lessons, and beliefs that shape my journey. Some experiences are meant to challenge me, others to teach me, or help me grow—whether I understand the full picture or not.
By accepting that my disruptive beliefs are part of my human experience, I was able to release the need for endless “whys.” This doesn’t mean you can’t seek understanding or reflection, but rather that we can shift our focus from “why this is happening” to “what can I learn from this?”
To help stop the obsession with the “why” check out my blog “Why Do Things Happen? How to Stop Feeling Uncertainty.”
Common Obstacles to Healing #2: Attachment to Trauma
Another reason people may not heal is due to attachment to their trauma. Sometimes, we don’t even realize we’ve experienced trauma until it starts manifesting in our behavior, emotions, or physical health. Once we do recognize it, it’s easy to fall into the trap of letting trauma define us. Sometimes people allow trauma to keep them stuck, and impede forward movement.
It’s essential to acknowledge and validate trauma, but awareness alone isn’t enough. We need to have a plan for what comes next. Without a process to move through trauma, we remain in the same place, repeating patterns and never truly breaking free.
Healing is about empowerment. It’s about recognizing trauma and taking intentional steps to move past it. Otherwise, trauma keeps us in a victim mindset. To truly heal, we need to ask ourselves: “What am I going to do with this trauma? How can I transform it into something that helps me grow, rather than allow it to hold me back?”
Common Obstacles to Healing #3: Impatience with the Process
Additionally, being impatient with the process is one of the obstacles to healing. Healing takes time—and we’re not accustomed to waiting. We live in a world that promises quick fixes and instant gratification. Every day, we’re bombarded with messages telling us that we should be able to have everything we want, now. But healing doesn’t work that way. It’s not a quick fix or a one-time solution. It’s a process that unfolds over time, much like a major home renovation.
Think about it: when you renovate your home, the result doesn’t happen overnight. First, you strip everything down to the studs, redo the plumbing and electrical, and slowly rebuild the walls. When all the work is complete, you can see the final product.
Healing is much the same. Often, we try to rush the process and want immediate results without doing the deeper, behind-the-scenes work. We might change the “paint” in our lives—switching up habits or trying new practices—but if we don’t address the deeper issues, the healing won’t last. True healing requires a complete renovation; it takes time, patience, and perseverance.
Unfortunately, people abandon their healing journey because they don’t see progress fast enough. They start and stop different healing modalities, switching directions before anything has a chance to take root. This impatience can keep you in cycles of frustration, convincing you that healing isn’t possible; in reality, you haven’t given it the time it needs.
The healing process is about more than just achieving a specific outcome—it’s about growth, change, and self-discovery along the way. If you can embrace the journey, instead of focusing solely on the destination, you’ll find that healing becomes a much more fulfilling and rewarding experience.
Break the Cycle
The common theme among these three obstacles is that they keep you trapped in frustration, doubt, and self-sabotage. Whether you are stuck on the “why,” attaching to trauma, or impatient with the process, you can easily lose hope and give up on your healing altogether. But understanding these pitfalls is the first step toward breaking free from them.
Here’s a quick recap of how to overcome the common obstacles to healing:
– Let go of the need for answers: Instead of getting caught up in “why” something is happening, focus on what you can learn from it. Embrace the idea that your soul’s journey has a purpose, even if unclear.
– Move through trauma: Acknowledge your trauma, but don’t let it define you. Develop a process to transform your trauma into something that empowers you, rather than holds you back.
– Be patient with the process. Healing takes time, and that’s okay. Trust the journey, and give yourself the space to grow and evolve at your own pace.
Ultimately, healing is about aligning with your true self, learning from life’s challenges, and creating a life that reflects your unique purpose and potential. It is more than just fixing what’s “broke.” When you approach healing as a process, rather than a quick fix, you open yourself up to deep, meaningful transformation.
Remember it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Healing is a process, and every step you take brings you closer to the life you desire.
Early in my healing transformation, I learned to meditate and connect to my inner voice by connecting to my body. I wrote this e-book “Ease and Awareness: A Guided Body Scan for Mindful Living” which shares how to meditate in this way.
Leanne Giavedoni is a Transformation Coach and Spiritual Healer helping individuals, couples, and families navigate their blocks and connect to their authentic selves to live abundantly fulfilled lives. Leanne is the author of the coaching guide “Fear Unravelled: Transform Your Thinking and Manifest the Abundant Life You Deserve” and the creator of the “Authentic Success Blueprint.”