In the attached video, I discuss the four essential steps to healing from a painful event—whether it’s a relationship struggle, a career setback, financial stress, or any situation that triggers deep emotions.
As we go through each step, you’ll begin to see how your experience of pain isn’t just about the event itself, but the meaning and story you attach to it. And most importantly, you’ll learn how to shift your perspective and move forward.
Step 1: The Painful Event
This first step represents the event, situation, or person that has triggered emotional pain—anything causing you stress, anxiety, fear, or unhappiness. This could include:
- A toxic relationship or a painful breakup
- A struggle with a narcissistic boss or partner
- Feeling stuck in a job you hate or searching for meaning in your career
- Financial hardship, debt, or instability
- Health challenges or an unexpected diagnosis
- Difficulties with parenting, infertility, or family conflict
- Feeling lost or disconnected from your purpose
- Global issues, community leadership concerns, or environmental fears
Whatever it is, this event is making you feel unsafe, powerless, or overwhelmed. It’s a moment in life that shakes your foundation. But here’s the key: while the event itself is painful, what leads to suffering is how we interpret it.
Step 2: The Emotional Struggle
In this stage, emotions take over—anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, resentment. Additionally, the image I use to depict this step shows two hands bound by a broken chain, surrounded by chaotic lines.
At first glance, it seems like the hands are trapped, but look closer—the chain is broken. This means that while you feel bound by the event, you actually have the power to free yourself. The real suffering isn’t just from the event itself but from the meaning you’ve assigned to it. Think about it: two people can experience the same event and interpret it completely differently. That’s because perception creates our reality. The story you tell yourself about the event shapes your experience of it. And if you’re stuck in this step, it’s because that story is keeping you in pain.
Step 3: Reframing the Story
This is where transformation begins. Notice the image representing this step shows the hands slightly separated, the confusion gone, and the chain now fully linked.
At this stage, you start to see the event from a different perspective. The pain is still real, but it no longer consumes you. You begin to understand that while you can’t change what happened, you can change how you relate to it. Furthermore, this step is about gaining clarity and releasing the emotional charge attached to the event.
When you reframe the experience, you shift from being a victim of your story to being the author of it. You recognize that while the event shapes you, you get to decide whether it shapes you through fear or through wisdom and growth.
Step 4: Healing and Moving Forward
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending the pain never happened. It means reaching a place of acceptance—not approval, but acceptance that the event is part of your journey. In this final stage, the event no longer holds power over you. Once you have integrated the lesson, you can move forward with clarity, strength, and resilience.
This is the step where you take back your power. You’re no longer stuck in suffering; you’re free to live with peace and purpose.
How to Move Through the Steps
If you’re stuck in step two—if the pain still controls you—you might be wondering: How do I move forward?
The answer is both simple and profound: it takes effort, intention, and the right tools. Healing doesn’t just happen; it’s an active process.
That’s exactly why I created The Success Reset System—to help people move from emotional pain to healing with a step-by-step strategy. Once you learn this process, you can apply it to any challenge that arises in life, ensuring that you never stay stuck in suffering.
Start with meditation. When you’re in steps one or two, your nervous system is on high alert. Your subconscious mind is trying to protect you, but this often keeps you trapped. Meditation helps you calm your vagal response, regain clarity, and create space for healing.
Here’s what I recommend:
- Meditation 101 to start the self-care practice of meditation
- The Body Scan Meditation to reconnect with your body and release tension
- Plus a Cord-Cutting Meditation to detach from unhealthy emotional ties
- Fear Unraveled Book for guided exercises on reframing your experiences
These tools are accessible and cost little more than your commitment to the process. If you’re ready for deeper transformation, The Success Reset System provides personalized insights into your core patterns, beliefs, and purpose, giving you a clear roadmap to confidently navigate life’s challenges.
Final Thoughts
Life will always present challenges—step one is unavoidable. But suffering is optional. You don’t have to stay stuck in pain. When you learn how to move through these four steps, you gain the ability to process life’s difficulties with resilience and grace.
If this message resonates with you, I invite you to explore the resources I offer. Whether through meditation, my book, or The Success Reset System, you have the power to heal and transform your life.
I hope this gives you a new perspective on your journey. When you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here to guide you.
Leanne is the author of the coaching guide “Fear Unravelled: Transform Your Thinking and Manifest the Abundant Life You Deserve” and the creator of the “Success Reset System and Authentic Success Blueprint.” To learn more about Leanne and how she can help you align and flourish visit her website leannegiavedoni.com.